Week 22-08-13 Archive

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SICK HUMOUR

We are all beginning to experience the worst element of the Edinburgh Festival and there's bugger all any of us can do about it.

If you've never been there, then you're lucky. This writer has and it is a mind numbing exposition of untalented social misfits, many of whom are would-be comics with one thing in common. They are not funny.

It would not be so bad if it all ended in Ednburgh. But the virus spreads, particularly to BBC radio and TV where there are producers who have been forced to attend and feel that the rest of us should suffer as much as they.

So stand by for some posh lads who have done Cambridge and should therefore know better, who will attempt to make us laugh whilst dripping sarcasm about anyone or anything which most of us hold dear

And prepare for another batch of crop haired Glaswegian lesbians, none of whom can utter a sentence without ending it with an "Ay - um" and all of whom are convinced that humour consists of foul language, offensive sexual comment and continual attacks on men

Listen out to Radio 4. Try and hear at least one programme "staring" some of these freaks, and thank your own God that you are male, English, and heterosexual. If you happen to have forgotten, then the new coven will remind you. Incessantly



WHERE HAVE ALL THE SOLDIERS GONE

On the subject of Edinburgh, why is the so-called "Military Tattoo" still described as "Military?

This year, we had a mix-match of ballet dancers, glam girls from New Zealand showing off their shiny grey tights and knickers (more please!) and young lads doing suicide runs on motor cycles

The nearest thing we got to actual military was the Band of the Mongolian High Command who looked fierce enough, but whose piece de resistance was an up-beat version of the theme from The Wizard of Oz

HOOLIGANS - or pirates?