Week 13-11-14 Archive

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RUBBER DUCK

Rossetta Mission Control from Rubber Duck. I suppose you think that was funny?

Ferchrisakes Rubber Duck. You're on open channel. Anyone could hear you, and you're supposed to be unmanned. Go to the Philae closed channel

Alright, alright. Switched.

Rubber Duck from Rossetta. That's better. So what should we think is funny?

Getting bounced around like that. That first bounce was about 500 k's and it took me 4 hours to get back

Well, its hardly our fault Rubber Duck. Why didn't you use the harpoons?

I did use the harpoons but just a tad late as I was noshing my sandwiches at the time of impact. And as the world is going to find out soon that I am on board, why not use my real name

What, Percy James Cody Entwhistle. Are you kidding? And do you really think the world is going to believe that we have a man on board your fridge sized comet lander until we actually tell them?

Well, its got to come out soon

Yes, we know that. Anyhow, are you alright

Look mate, being the sole survivor of the Lancaster and District 2003 dwarf throwing championships, you don't think a little old bounce in space is going to worry me, do you?

No, point taken

And tell my Mum I'm ok. And contact the Society for the Vertically Challenged and tell them its the little people for Mars next. And send down some more sandwiches

OK short arse

EDITOR'S NOTE. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PERSON NAMED IN THIS ITEM AND THE NAME OF ANY LIVING DWARF IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL


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DUMP 'N RIDE

Question - What is the longest lasting fart in the world?

Answer - The brand new 40 seat bus service between Bristol and Bath in the UK

The service, known to locals as the "poo" bus, runs on methane gas extracted from a local sewage works

It can go 186 miles on one filling or slightly more if the driver has a cabbage curry the night before