Week 19-08-16 Archive

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THE 24-HOUR MAN

A 46-yearold MAN FROM YORK, ENGLAND, WHO HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF RAPE BUT FOUND NOT GUILTY, HAS BEEN ORDERED BY A COURT TO GIVE POLICE 24-HOURS NOTICE OF ANY INTENTION HE MAY HAVE OF HAVING SEX WITH A NEW PARTNER

Hello.York police?

Yes, desk sergeant here. How can I help?

My name is Joe Bloggs. I'm calling to......................

Well I'll be darned. This is the fourth day on the trot Mr Bloggs. How long are you going to keep this up!

Oh, yes, very funny sergeant. But actually, that's just it. I'm not getting it up. Four refusals in a row but I reckon I'm on a winner tomorrow night

Well, good to hear it. But how come you're so sure after all these failures?

Well, I went to this place in the City centre. There's all these girls, you see. All sitting chatting. And you just go up to one and start talking

I see. And what did you actually say?

I just said 'I suppose a fuck's out of the question' and she said..............

Strewth, no wonder your success rate is diddly squat. And I don't really think that your chat up line is fully in the spirit of the court order. If I were you..............

No, no. You don't get it sergeant. That's what this place is all about. These girls are total nymphos. They don't want any smarmy chat lines. Just straight to the point. You don't even have to buy them a drink. She was up for it there and then but I had to put her off until tomorrow night and.......well, you know why

Well I'm blowed...........

There you go again. You've got a filthy mind, you know

Yes, see what you mean. Sorry. anyhow, well done. And well done for sticking so well to the Magistrate's order. Er, what's the name of this place?

it's called Pussy Agogo

Wow! Well, thanks. Er,don't tell anyone I asked, will you. And good luck tomorrow. Let me know how you get on

PS. JOE BLOGGS (not his real name, would you believe) HAS SINCE APPEALED AGAINST THE COOURT'S 24-HOUR RULING AND HAS BEEN TURNED DOWN


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