Week 24-06-16 Archive

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OINK

THE MOUNTAIN CHICKEN FROG, OF MONTSERRAT AND DOMINICA, IS IN SERIOUS DECLINE AND A BREEDING PROGRAMME HAS BEEN SET UP AT CHESTER ZOO, UK. THE SCENE IS NOAHA'S ARC

Next

Rivet

Name?

Rivet

Look mate, there's no use you sitting there making bloody silly noises. When I say 'What's your name' what I actually mean is what is your species?

Oh,sorry boss. Ah is a moun'n chick'n frorg

You're a bloody what?

A moun'n chick'n frorg. Dat is a 'mountain chicken frog' in udder words

The hell you say. And where do you come from?

Ahm from de Carribean boss

OK, I'll buy that. Hence the accent. But anyhow look mate, we don't have time to mess around. The water's coming up fast. You're either a chicken or you're a frog. Now what's it to be?

Dats what ah is

Right, smart arse. Noah - we've got a right one here. Can you take over?

Certainly. How do you do. My name is Noah. And what is your name

Rivet.Ah is a moun'n chick'n frorg

A Mountain Chicken Frog. OK, have it your way. But there's only one of you and we're looking for breeding pairs

Dats the problem boss. Ah is nearly extinct an ah can't find a missus

I'm not at all surprised, if you can't make your mind up whether your a chicken or a frog. Alright, let him in. We had a cockerel turn up with two chickens so he can shack up with one of the hens. By the way, I can see you're a frog. So why the chicken bit?

'cause dats what ah tastes like boss

I see. Well, there's another good reason for your lot becoming extinct. You're sort of a two course, ready made meal, what. Frog's legs for starters and chicken breasts for main course

Dat aint funny boss

24/06/16

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TALKING ABOUT MOOUNTAINS

A mountain lion attacked a child in a garden in Colorado. Fortunately, the child's mother managed to scare the animal off. A spokesperson for the state's Wildlife Agency said in response to a journalist's question:"As a matter of fact, mountain lions are not uncommon in Colorado although they are seldom seen"

27/06/16


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