Week 29-04-13 Archive

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A TALE OF CANTERBURY JUSTIN WELBY, ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, SAID BANKERS SHOULD TAKE EXAMS AND BE OVERSEEN BY A PROFESSIONAL BODY. SIMULTANEOUSLY, IT WAS DISCLOSED THAT ACCOUNTANTS FROM THE PRIVATE SECTOR ACT AS CONSULTANTS TO THE REVENUE AND THEN ADVISE THEIR PRIVATE CLIENTS .......

And the Lord spake unto his anointed Disciple, saying:"Let me get this right. Thy desire is to go amongst the bankers and command they create a learned profession and take upon themselves exams to become members therof so that they may be chastised or expelled if they sin"

"That beith about the size of it Oh Lord

"Then go ye to Mammon and instruct them thus and best of"

And the Lord thought he had chosen wisely to set such a task for this Disciple for had he not indeed once been of the house of Harrow and also of Trinity, and did he not also know of Mammon and its ways

And so it came to pass that the Disciple came to Mammon and entered upon The Temple and did find therein the traders and the bankers and money lenders but not the tax collectors, who were elsewhere

And he asked of the traders and others:"Wherefore are the tax collectors?" and those gathered said the tax collectors and the book keepers of the money leaders were breaking bread and taking wine and learning one from the other of the miracle of turning 5 into 5000 and how not to remit any of the gain one to the other, but rather lodge such profit in sceptered isles

And The Disciple said: "Lo, this not what the Lord intends, and you must render unto Caesar that which is Caesars

"And His Word is that you educate yourselves and censure yourselves and do not deprive His children of their share of your gain, for what shall it profit a man that he steals from his neighbour and makes a shed load of dosh of such theft"

And the money lenders replied that they needed not education, for verily they had all been to the houses of Eton or Harrow or Oxford or Cambridge and were already men of great learning, even though they had become more like the host of youth who plied their trade from barrows in the streets of Mammon

And there was discontent among them and they delivered unto the Disciple a dread warning, telling him that should they lose profit by his interference, he might find the collecting plates through all the Houses of The Lord on Earth to be devoid of their offerings

And the Disciple returned to The Lord, who said unto him:"Verily thou hast grievously pissed off the money lenders, who loudly proclaim that you should do only that work with which you are blessed at my House of Canterbury.

"Get ye hence,and leave the f-f-f-f-phylistines to their greed"